2/18/2011 12:46:48 PM

This is a great question.
Most parents of autistic children really need friends to talk with them and and be interested. Most parents feel isolated by their situation.

It is wrong to ask "what is wrong with him/her?" If the parent has already told you the child is autistic, then you might just ask the parent, "can you tell me more about autism;I'd really like to understand it better and know more about it." This question allows the parent to share with you the information that is most important to him or her. It is always appropriate to tell the parent that he/she is doing a great job. A common misperception in the public is that autism is really a result of bad parenting. That is not the case at all.

If you have questions that the parent hasn't answered with your open-ended "tell me more" question, you can always just ask, "may I ask you a few more questions about this that I don't understand?"

I really like your question and the fact that you are not wanting to offend the family by asking something that could be hurtful. Please send an update on how things went with your conversation.

You should act as normal as possible around the parent and the child, but it's not necessary to act as though you don't notice anything different. If the child is having frequent melt-downs, you can express sympathy for the parent--"I know this has to be tough."

Pat